Cultivating Self-Love and Self-Worth
God, Source, Our Creator is love. We are all love.
Love was created to be felt and experienced. We honor this gift through the lived experience of giving love to ourselves and others, as well as allowing ourselves to receive it. We embrace love through our willingness to proactively and sacrificially engage in the act of giving and receiving love.
Cultivating self-love is like tending to a plant in a garden. Self-worth becomes a lived belief or understanding when the aspects of self-love are tended to. The seed of love is within us. It is always there, has always been there, and will always be there. It has been planted in our physical vessel for this life. With light, soil, water, pruning, and weeding, the plant flourishes out of itself. Like the plant, our self-love, as well as self-worth, flourishes, blossoms, and blooms when we give it the environment it needs.
The light comes through connection with God, Source, Our Creator. The soil and water comes from our connection with Mother Earth, Pachamama, the nourishing cocoon and hydration of her love. Pruning directs more energy to the seed of love that is growing by letting go of attachments and the weeding curates what we allow in our environment, thus creating our boundaries and sense of self-worth.
Approach the act of cultivating self-love and self-worth with lighthearted gentleness. You don’t have to punish yourself for the things you’ve said or not said, done or not done, that you consider “wrong”. When mindfulness or recognition happens in these moments it is a step in learning to move forward with the truth of self-love and self-worth in your heart. You start to understand that loving yourself and knowing your worth happens by building a relationship with your “wrongdoings” so that they can be received as lessons, as opportunity for growth. This is how we begin to break the habitual patterns that keep us from living embodied with self-love and self-worth.
We often align intimacy with a sexual connotation when intimacy is also about practicing self-care and taking the time to get to know yourself. When we get intimate with ourselves in self-inquiry and self-discovery it is a practice of self-love, which builds a healthy image of self-worth. Look in the mirror and inquire about what you need to hear or feel that day, get to know what best supports you. Buy yourself flowers. Self-love is not dependent on anyone or anything. It is based on the ability to express and receive love from you to you. There are a multitude of ways for love to be expressed or received.
A huge part of self-love and self-worth is setting your boundaries and sticking to them. Get intimate with your threshold to know what your boundaries are. Practice setting them. It is safe to use your voice. You can take up all the space you need.
Embodying self-love and self-worth are about taking the time to listen, being honest with ourselves and others, walking our talk or living with integrity, and committing ourselves to our growth and healing journey. The mind chatter we tend to try to silence is more often the surface expression of deeper thoughts and emotions that need to be heard to be healed. You attract what you put out. If you have a desire to do and be better, have a healthy relationship with yourself, and know your worth then you invite relationships into your life that reflect that, and when you attract something that doesn’t mirror that you have the power to say, “no thank you.”
Self-love is being okay with not being okay. It is safe to love yourself and know your worth. You are not and never will be broken. As you are allowing feeling you are healing. You know better than anyone what you need, which also means that you ask for support when you need it.
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Self-Love Guided Experience:
Begin with three deep clearing breaths to regulate the parasympathetic system. Fully in through the nose for three seconds, fully out through the mouth for five seconds.
Feel openly and honestly as you turn your awareness to your seed of love within. What does it feel like to give love to yourself? What does it feel like to receive love from others?
Notice what energy arises within you as you explore your relationship to love.
Does it have anything to say? Is anything standing in the way of your ability to give and receive love? What does this seed of love need? Ask it how it can be nourished.
Simply listen as you continue to bring the focus back to healing your relationship with love.
Continue with this internal dialogue as the thoughts find resolution and relaxation. You may ask yourself, “What is it that I have not been willing to hear?” and the practice may continue for a while.
This is a beautiful organic unfolding; you are unraveling whatever keeps you from your true experience of self-love.
When you feel the dialogue is complete, bring three deep clearing breaths through your body to continue to regulate the parasympathetic system, inhaling for three seconds, exhaling for five seconds.
Give yourself a hug. Your soul and your seed of love thank you for this journey of your inner landscape. Go forth and integrate what you have learned. Enjoy the lived experience of loving yourself, and others, and knowing your self-worth. If you’re not there yet, it’s okay to love yourself wherever you are.
